What if Beauty, Magic, and Mystery Were Enough?

I’ve been waiting for a very special moment which will occur on May 22nd. Transiting Jupiter, my time lord for this year, at my mid-heaven in 9th house Pisces, will make an exact square to my natal Jupiter in the 12th house. The ninth house rules religion, belief systems, and philosophy. The 12th house rules mysticism and the arts. At the same time, Saturn, ruler of discipline, is at the nadir of my chart, opposing transiting Jupiter and squaring my natal Jupiter, while the Sun, my time lord for the month has just entered the 12th house, and Uranus is also at the mid-heaven.

So, what does all this mean? I have been trying to figure that out. Of course, my ego said, “Oh I’m going to get a publisher for my latest novel!” Because Jupiter and the 9th house also rule publication, and yet I’m not making any moves, other than writing. I’m not sending out submissions or anything. What has captivated me lately is reading all of Carlos Castaneda’s books for the fifth time.

A friend suggested that perhaps the May 22nd alignments are not about getting published, but they are about a shift in my belief systems. In other words, I might finally get what don Juan is saying in a way I’ve never been able to get before.

It’s kind of scary. It would be so much easier to think it relates to matters of this world, you know capitalistic America, get published, be somebody, get rich and famous, influence people’s minds with my fabulous writing. We’re trained from birth to want that kind of success. But what if it’s really about the expansion of my consciousness. And what if the answer I get is that publication is not really what matters. Oh crap.

It’s scary to think the answer is to let go of caring whether or not the world validates my writing. I’m getting so many messages telling me this, including what my friend Tama Kieves said today, “It has to come from within, not from without.”

And don Juan saying, “In order to succeed at anything, it must be done gently, with a great deal of effort, but without stress or obsession.” I totally get what he’s saying. Put forth a great deal of effort, but do so gently without stress or obsession. It is not a contradiction. I have done most of my writing that way, because something in me was called to write, so I wrote, not because I thought it would be a great way to become rich and famous. Actually it’s not a very effective way to become rich and famous, yet I’d still like that. It’s hard to let go of that desire. So I’ll do what a friend always tells me to do. I won’t try to let go of it, I’ll just sit and observe my attachment.

I do love the sorcerers world as described by don Juan and Castaneda. It is such a beautiful, magnificent, mysterious, magical, and awesome world. What if that were enough?