Your Living Challenge

Don Juan said, "A warrior takes his lot, whatever it may be, and accepts it in ultimate humbleness. He accepts in humbleness what he is, not as grounds for regret, but as a living challenge." (Tales of Power)

I've been thinking about that lately, wondering what my challenge is. The thing that keeps popping into my mind is "self-discipline." I'm always telling myself that I don't have enough self-discipline. If I did, I would be able to produce so much more: write more, publish more, lead more workshops, exercise more, save the world, etc.

But on the other hand, the fact that I have a low tolerance for stress and lack of freedom has been my saving grace in a way. That part of my personality won't allow me to stay imprisoned in situations that weaken me, rather than empowering me.

He also said, "If one is to succeed in anything, the success must come gently, with a great deal of effort, but with no stress or obsession."

That's a very fine line, but I'm sure it's possible. One thing I understand is that the self-discipline is for me. It's not so I can prove myself worthy in the eyes of other human beings. I think that's where I get mixed up. Often when I write something, I get obsessed with getting published because I want to feel that I am worthy in the eyes of other people (or at least in the eyes of the publishing industry). This is where the stress and obsession come from.

It's difficult to let go of this obsession, but I think I may have to, just like I let go of my fear of poverty and then discovered that the monster named Fear DePoverty was nothing more than a chimera. I've never in my life been poor. So by letting go of that fear (and the stress and obsession), I gained both freedom and wealth.

At the moment, this is my challenge: developing greater self-discipline without sliding over the line into stress and obsession.

What is your living challenge?